{"id":3282,"date":"2014-05-27T21:16:21","date_gmt":"2014-05-27T21:16:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/?p=3282"},"modified":"2019-05-19T17:22:42","modified_gmt":"2019-05-19T15:22:42","slug":"blue-is-my-colour","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/?p=3282","title":{"rendered":"Blue is my colour"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"neckpiece\"<\/a>
\nWeeks ago a friend wrote me something and in reaction to that I had the thought: yes, I was withholding, I could have been more direct.<\/p>\n

Also weeks ago but a bit shorter, during a Santo Daime ritual the suggestion came from ‘the cosmos’ to go for more direct expressing.
\nHow? asked something in me. In writing, maybe in drawing.<\/p>\n

It translated in me as another invitation to be more direct.
\nI realized that the past ten years I have often been more direct than nowadays. It was the decade of the yahoogroups and I have written there, although in the open, without much hindrance of withholding.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The thought occurred that one easy way of doing this would be republishing from this older messages in yahoogroups at moments that this seems relevant. Or fun. Or painfull. Or whatever. There are a few thousand of those mails out there.<\/p>\n

Because it suits me, (that’s the fun of this being my own website: I can write on in myself, whatever, whenever), I\u00a0 will republish message 3652 from N0by’s yahoogroup.
\nThe subject line was Re: FIFTH KOAN FOR HANS and it is dated Jan 11, 2004.<\/p>\n

— In\u00a0n0by@yahoogroups.com<\/a>, “MASTER Ivan LIKEYOU”\u00a0<\/em>
\n<dalmatianartists@y…> wrote:<\/em><\/h3>\n

> WITHOUT OUR GURUS, WERE WE UNITED?<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yes, we were united. But there was identification running with part <\/em>
\nof One, so the rest appeared.<\/em>
\nNow we know and I am still puzzled, feeling cryish.<\/em><\/h3>\n

From my history book:<\/em>
\nIn 1984 I did a tantra training with Ted and others in the Dordrecht <\/em>
\nSannyass commune in Dordrecht\/Holland. For some reason he told me at <\/em>
\nthe end of the training that he couldn’t help me any further, better <\/em>
\nI should contact Veeresh. <\/em>
\nThen one of his assistents invited me into her bed and basicly that <\/em>
\nexplains why I ended up at the summerfestival in Rajneesh Puram. <\/em>
\n[One of this crazy things that sometimes happen: when I found out <\/em>
\nabout all this people from Dordrecht going to this festival and also <\/em>
\nwanting this, they told me that it would be impossible to find <\/em>
\nanother ticket: I found one and that was for the plane they were in].<\/em><\/p>\n

This were two crazy weeks. Imagine a party in a Hollywood movie <\/em>
\nversion of a concentration camp before they made everything look old.<\/em>
\nWith sexy sannyas ladies rehearsing there roles as sherif, mayor and <\/em>
\ncitizens in there normal orange juice outfits. Nothing was for real, <\/em>
\nexcept for the bullets.<\/em>
\nAnd the hatred and the fear that I started to sense. <\/em>
\nCovered with the cramped laughter and joy of maybe 20.000 oranges.<\/em>
\n(I was basicly dressed in blue, like a Rorschach inkblot on the <\/em>
\nback of an albino).<\/em>
\nIn this 2 weeks I went thru a lot of different states\/layers. <\/em>
\nI attended a hilarious cremation of a sannyasin and I could join the <\/em>
\ncelebration of (natural?) death.<\/em>
\nI attended the shortest highway of Oregon and saw also the eyes of <\/em>
\nBaghwan through the windows of an expensive car that he was wearing <\/em>
\nfor sunglasses. Still remember that when he passed I had some inner <\/em>
\nimage (very rare) that I described as yellowish\/mummyish.What my mind <\/em>
\ninterpreted as: for me its something from the past, he is not my <\/em>
\nteacher.<\/em>
\nYet I also fell in love with the place for a few days, even <\/em>
\nconsidering to go home and back to stay for long. For me that had to <\/em>
\ndo with a thought like: wauw, building an oases in Amerika without <\/em>
\nwiping out the existing population. How naieve.<\/em>
\nThen there was this big celebration in this oversized building with <\/em>
\nenormous loud music. For a friend of mine so scary that she left the <\/em>
\nplace crying. As I was very close to the open side of the building I <\/em>
\nwalked over to her and after 2 minutes walked back. At least that was <\/em>
\nmy intention. I was hindered by some actors, dressed as sannyasins, <\/em>
\nwho explained to me that there was a rule that you were not allowed <\/em>
\nto go back in satsang after leaving. I refused to obey them and went <\/em>
\nback in (scary action, I can tell you). From then on I had an escort <\/em>
\nin satsang and I was waited for at the end and kind of arrested.<\/em>
\nMy sannyas lover passed and they just laughed and left me there.<\/em>
\nI made a scene and insisted to speak to Veeresh, pretending that I <\/em>
\nknew him. Finally some sannyas actor with authority came over and <\/em>
\nasked what was going on and she convinced my guards to let me go.<\/em>
\nAnd there where of course the sound cassettes with Baghwan speaking <\/em>
\nand the messages that Sheela told the crowd on behalf of her master.<\/em><\/p>\n

I told my sannyas lover and some other people from Dordrecht that I <\/em>
\ncould not imagine certain messages to be from someone enlightened.<\/em>
\nI even said that I wouldn’t be surprised that even the cassettes were <\/em>
\nmanipulated. The way of the heart laughed of course fullheartedly.<\/em><\/p>\n

And I attended a training with this small cowboy, Santosh?<\/em><\/p>\n

On my way home, in the sannyas hotel in Portland, suddenly I found <\/em>
\nmyself almost face to face with Sheela. Without thinking I adressed <\/em>
\nher and asked her the question that puzzled me: Sheela, why do you <\/em>
\ncall your frightened neighbours fascists?<\/em>
\nAnd she, also without thinking, hissed: because they are fascists!<\/em>
\nThen two things happended simultaniously. She was called away for a <\/em>
\nphone call. And something in me concluded: this lady is mentally ill.<\/em>
\nSo I took care that I did not see her again.<\/em><\/p>\n

‘Rasjneesh Puram’ has bothered me for more than 15 years. It took <\/em>
\nyears and years for tits and bits of information to reach me. For me <\/em>
\nthis experience helped to withdraw for a long time from anything that <\/em>
\nhad to do with spirituality.<\/em>
\nBetween 1 and 2 years ago I attended a satsang with Rani and thought <\/em>
\nthat it was time to talk with an insider about ‘Rasjneesh Puram’.<\/em>
\nShe contacted me with Ojas, who lived there in that time. We had a <\/em>
\nfew hours chat in ‘De ijsbreker’ in Amsterdam over some capucinos. <\/em>
\nAnd miraculously the Puram knot disappeared in the weeks thereafter.<\/em><\/p>\n

Only last week I found this link where I could read that Baghwan was <\/em>
\nfrom the very first day clear and open on what happened.<\/em>
\nWhat puzzles me is that a year before I sensed what was happening <\/em>
\nthere and he didn’t (or didn’t act on it).<\/em>
\nThen why the f*ck do we want to be enlightened.<\/em>
\nThis last sentence is the cover up for a mess, clearer it is not yet.<\/em><\/p>\n

Au,<\/em><\/p>\n

hans<\/em><\/p>\n

{This mail from Jan 11, 2004 is on the web, here<\/a>, and here<\/a>}.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So, back to today, Tuesday May 27 2014.
\nNot so long ago, Ojas wrote his story about being with Osho:
\nThe ‘Orange Papers’ met de Nederlandse titel Kan een gekooide vogel zingen?
\nIt’s in Dutch, its over 200 pages and a great read. And it is online.
\nGo to \u2018ORANGE PAPERS\u2019<\/a>.” for the pdf to download.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Weeks ago a friend wrote me something and in reaction to that I had the thought: yes, I was withholding, I could have been more direct. Also weeks ago but a bit shorter, during a Santo Daime ritual the suggestion … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":3283,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[79,84,40,78,80,88,81,87,86,83,82,85],"class_list":["post-3282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-my-blog","tag-baghwan","tag-bio-energetics","tag-oerpuzzel","tag-osho","tag-poona","tag-rajneesh-puram","tag-rajneeshpuram","tag-santosh","tag-sheela","tag-tantra","tag-ted-wilson","tag-veeresh"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/neckpiece.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1tD9I-QW","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3282"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3282\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5150,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3282\/revisions\/5150"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}