{"id":3620,"date":"2014-12-04T14:18:43","date_gmt":"2014-12-04T13:18:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/?p=3620"},"modified":"2014-12-07T00:57:28","modified_gmt":"2014-12-06T23:57:28","slug":"the-man-i-did-not-meet-in-varanasi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/?p=3620","title":{"rendered":"The man I did not meet in Varanasi"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"DSC03563\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Last Februari I have spend time in Varanasi.
\nIn my wallet was the name and address of a man. It was a contact given to me by Peter Malakoff when he heard from me in Tiruvannamalai that I had planned to go to Varanasi.
\nPeter Malakoff I had met the year before when I went back to the place where I had attended a lecture of him about Kabir, the famous poet that has lived in Varanasi in the 15th century.<\/p>\n

During the time that Peter lived in Varanasi during his study of Rumi, he had met the man named Sashi Kant and he gave me his name and address as a contact in Varanasi.<\/p>\n

Once in Varanasi I realised that I had no idea if this man was a street guide or a collegue writer or a university teacher.
\nAnd one day I decided to find out. And then something unexpected happened: I was walking through one of those small shopping streets and according to the indications people had given me I was rather close to the address I was looking for. At a fork in the road I stopped and looked around, trying to make out which way to go. I man standing in front of a travelling agency asked if he could be of assistance. I showed him my little note with the name and address. Ah yes, he said, I knew this man, we were friends, he is not here anymore, he has passed away. After a while I walked on with this knowledge and in search for the shop and the family of the deceased man. I found a closed shop, the yellow one, and heard from the neighbours enough to know when to come back.
\n\"DSC04222\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Later I had two meetings with the wife and daughters of the passed away shop owner.
\nThose meetings were deeply touching for me. And kind of weird. Culture shock with a complication, confused\/confusing, yet heartwarming encounters.<\/p>\n

I let this piece be written by the email exchange I had with Peter:<\/p>\n

On maandag 24-02-14 4:41, hans van der gugten wrote:
\nHello Peter,<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Sorry to let you know that the man you mentioned as a contact here in Varanasi has passed away. (23d of December).<\/em>
\n Maybe his family already told you.<\/em>
\n I was there almost a week ago, gave them your mail and waited a while as I said to them u would.<\/em>
\n The daughter invited me to come again to meet her sister too.<\/em><\/p>\n

Maybe you want to write them something thru me?<\/em><\/p>\n

Greetingz.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hans<\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

On maandag 24-02-14 12:54, Peter Steven Malakoff wrote:
\nDEAR HANS<\/em><\/p>\n

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PASSING THIS ON TO ME.<\/em><\/p>\n

SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT SASHI KANT HAS DIED. HE WAS AN EXCELLENT MAN AND WILL BE MISSED. PLEASE GIVE HIS DAUGHTERS MY LOVE AND TELL THEM I GREATLY APPRECIATED AND LOVED THEIR FATHER. I WISH THEM ALL THE BEST.<\/em><\/p>\n

THE SISTERS ARE WONDERFUL MUSICIANS AND VERY SWEET PEOPLE IF YOU GET A CHANCE TO MEET THEM<\/em><\/p>\n

BEST REGARDS<\/em><\/p>\n

PETER<\/em><\/p>\n

\nOn maandag 24-02-14 13:31, Peter Steven Malakoff wrote:
\nHello Hans<\/em><\/p>\n

I have found two pictures of Sashi that his daughters might be interested in<\/em><\/p>\n

all the best<\/em><\/p>\n

Peter<\/em><\/p>\n

\"J3264x2448-26333\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"J3264x2448-26334\"<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

On dinsdag 23-09-14 0:32, Hans van der Gugten wrote:
\nHello Peter,<\/em><\/p>\n

For some unknown reason it took till now to answer your mail.<\/em>
\nI saw it being postponed over and over again.<\/em>
\nI also did not forward your pictures to the family.<\/em><\/p>\n

There were two meetings with the sisters and their mother.<\/em>
\nIt was a deeply human meeting with a shared sad undertone.<\/em>
\nThey told me openly that their father and husband had taken his life due to economic problems.<\/em>
\nAnd that they had a tough job at hand to get things working on their names and things like that.<\/em>
\nI was touched, almost shocked (cause it did not fit my expectations) by their openness.<\/em>
\nI shared with them that after our first meeting I had played with the thought\u00a0 of writing a blog about the man that I did not meet in Varanasi.<\/em>
\nAnd they were fine if I would do so. All people here also know about how he died, they said.<\/em>
\nAnd here we are, seven month later.<\/em>
\nFirst have to check with you if and what happened between you and the family.<\/em>
\nDid you have contact since?<\/em>
\nI have to find a way or have a entrance to send them the pictures you send me.<\/em>
\nAnd the idea of writing a blog about Sashi Kant has lost its momentum.<\/em><\/p>\n

Can you give me a first reaction please.<\/em><\/p>\n

Greetingz,<\/em><\/p>\n

hans<\/em>
\nhansvandergugten.nl<\/em>
\nOn dinsdag 23-09-14 2:55, Peter Steven Malakoff wrote:
\nHello Hans<\/em><\/p>\n

So sorry to hear all this. In the last few years, Sashi had phoned me<\/em>
\non several occasions asking if I had any work for him. I thought he<\/em>
\nhad retired and was looking for something to do as we talked about him<\/em>
\nleading tours in Varanasi as he had done for me when I came. He never<\/em>
\nmentioned any monetary problems. I thought Sashi was rich with all his<\/em>
\nbusiness and I never made it to Varanasi after my initial visit.<\/em><\/p>\n

We had talked about his older daughter who is a musician, coming to<\/em>
\nAmerica for school and I had offered that she could stay at my house<\/em>
\nnear San Francisco. I thought that he had wanted someone to look after<\/em>
\nher while she was in America. He had her play for me while I was<\/em>
\nthere.<\/em><\/p>\n

I have had zero contact with his family. My relationship was only with<\/em>
\nSashi and the men who worked with him in his clothing\/tailoring shop<\/em>
\nin one of the ghalis.<\/em><\/p>\n

Are they still living in their house near the ghats with the<\/em>
\nrestaurant on the top floor? Are they destitute? How are they getting<\/em>
\nby? Please give them my regards and best wishes and tell them I will<\/em>
\ncome and visit when I come to Varanasi again one day. I am living in<\/em>
\nIndia for the last four years.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hearing about Sashi’s suicide, he must of been distraught. It happens<\/em>
\nthat I am presently creating a book about death and dying using some<\/em>
\npictures I took while in Varanasi. You can see that here:<\/em>
\nhttp:\/\/www.blurb.com\/b\/3757835-the-cure-of-the-mustard-seed<\/em><\/p>\n

Also a recording: http:\/\/www.petermalakoff.com\/Cure_of_Mustard_Seed2.html<\/em><\/p>\n

The book is only a first draft that I published myself but it will be<\/em>
\ncombined with the recording into a Kindle book later this year<\/em><\/p>\n

Regarding your blog on the man you never saw in Varanasi, I think that<\/em>
\nwould be an excellent honorarium, a tribute to this man. So, my first<\/em>
\nthoughts are to do it. I may be able to find some other pictures of<\/em>
\nSashi. Please let me know if you go there again as I would like to<\/em>
\nconvey my regards to his family.<\/em><\/p>\n

Peter Malakoff<\/em>
\nOn zondag 19-10-14 15:00, Hans van der Gugten wrote:
\nDear Peter, <\/em><\/p>\n

Thanks for your letter. <\/em>
\nAfter your stimulation I see myself make this page about the man I didn’t meet in Varanasi. <\/em>
\nSo, yes please, find the other pictures that you might have. <\/em>
\nAnd maybe you can write a short memory about your meetings, how this came about, what happened. <\/em><\/p>\n

I found a reply letter that one of the Dutch poets wrote to a man who wrote her about the suicide of his daughter. <\/em>
\nI will write it off from a tv interview and translate it into English. <\/em>
\nFor the rest I think I will use (quotes from) our email exchange. <\/em>
\nWhat about this? <\/em>
\nPlease give your feedback. <\/em><\/p>\n

Greetingz, <\/em><\/p>\n

hans <\/em>
\nhttps:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/?p=3659<\/a> <\/em><\/p>\n

Ida Gerhardt (1905-1997).<\/strong><\/p>\n

Upon returning home I found your writing.<\/strong>
\n I am so sorry that it kept lying here for so long.<\/strong>
\n And that for a letter with this importance.<\/strong>
\n But I can not help it.<\/strong>
\n We never let mail send to us once we’re gone.<\/strong>
\n I will try to answer as best I can.<\/strong>
\n But first of all I thank you for your confidence.<\/strong>
\n Readily I give you mine, convinced of your absolute silence.<\/strong>
\n I was nineteen years old when I took the same decision as your daughter has taken, allthough the backgrounds in my case were different.<\/strong>
\n See my collection The living monogram.<\/strong>
\n Actually I did not have much hope. You can find the reasons in that bundle.<\/strong>
\n But it was discovered and I had to endure the humiliation that people also deprived me of this freedom.<\/strong>
\n The argument ‘You have had such a rich life later’ does not make it more nor less; it was my hard-won decision.<\/strong>
\n My hope was at last to be freed, to be allowed to live in that other country.<\/strong>
\n And now they compelled me by force and with\u00a0reproaches again.<\/strong>
\n I did not know your daughter, and I do not know you, nor her mother.<\/strong>
\n But then she was found in the garden while the larks sang and carried into the house by reverent hands.<\/strong>
\n Personally I think, and you also mention it, that a voice from the other side, frozen in the azure, with increasing urgency has called her.<\/strong>
\n But this thinking is nothing but a suspicion.<\/strong>
\n Honor your father and your mother.<\/strong>
\n Oh certainly.<\/strong>
\n But for sure also: honor your child.<\/strong>
\nOn vrijdag 07-11-14 1:36, Peter Steven Malakoff wrote:
\nHello Hans<\/em><\/p>\n

(I had written the following to you quite a while ago but did not send<\/em>
\nand then forgot about it. I do not yet have the pictures and will not<\/em>
\nhave them until I return to the Himalayas in the springtime. Sorry,<\/em>
\nbut I left the external hard drive behind.)<\/em><\/p>\n

I just remembered that Sashi and I had a short lived project in which<\/em>
\nI bought several inexpensive cameras and we gave them out to various<\/em>
\nstreet kids (he chose them) to take pictures. They would bring the<\/em>
\npictures back to Sashi and I would make them into a book. I left<\/em>
\nBenaras and never knew what happened to the project.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sashi has an astrologer come to his restaurant where we all sat<\/em>
\ntogether (Sashi, the astrologer and me) and my chart was done. Sashi<\/em>
\nwas sufficiently impressed with my chart to later ask me to host his<\/em>
\ndaughters if they went to school in the San Francisco area.<\/em><\/p>\n

I bought about $1000 of handmade clothes from Sashi’s tailoring store<\/em>
\nin the ghalis of Benaras. He had a very good tailor. I later had him<\/em>
\nship me another $500 worth of clothes to America about a year later. I<\/em>
\nhave brought these clothes with me to India and still wear them.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sashi called me several times over the last few years and wanted to<\/em>
\ngive tours with me or to do some work. I did not know that he was<\/em>
\nhaving monetary problems and he never told me he did. He seemed like<\/em>
\nhe was just looking for something to do with his life. I wish I would<\/em>
\nof known as I would of made more of an effort to create something for<\/em>
\nhim.<\/em><\/p>\n

To die in Benaras is considered a blessing. I hope that extends to a<\/em>
\nman who took his own life there.<\/em><\/p>\n

I remember him as a good and street smart guy, a loving man and a very<\/em>
\nsmart man. I wish I knew why he killed himself. If you find out<\/em>
\nanything about this from his daughters please let me know.<\/em><\/p>\n

He had his daughters play music for me at their house in Banaras.<\/em><\/p>\n

He was a good man.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last Februari I have spend time in Varanasi. In my wallet was the name and address of a man. It was a contact given to me by Peter Malakoff when he heard from me in Tiruvannamalai that I had planned … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":3914,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3620","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-my-blog"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/DSC03563.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1tD9I-Wo","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3620","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3620"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3620\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3924,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3620\/revisions\/3924"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3914"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hansvandergugten.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}