The discovery of “God”.

From this meeting the text is available:

Holland, Venwoude, June 6, 2002
Long silent eye contact, Isaac starts the talking.
> The being nothing part you have pretty down.
< Sorry?
> The nothing part of knowing yourself you have pretty down. What’s integrating now is the everything part, the love part and that is beautiful to see.
< [whispering] wauw. [after wiping tears out if my eyes, whispering] So, now I can see you better.
> You see me in your heart, it’s good enough. You could be blind, you couldn’t miss me.Anything you’d like to say?
< In a way you said it all. And I could share about my proces for hours. But there is one example that I want to share. A few days ago it was a question, but it is all happening by itself so fast, it is amazing. I came here with the intention to keep low profile, I know a lot of people will not believe me. And existence didn’t allow me because of this accident. [I stumbled over a very old, very sick lady, this causing a lot of turmoil].
  And that made me clear that eh… I very often have the idea that eh…. Why me? I seem to be the choosen one to mess up. And in this case it was so a 100 percent clear to me that there was no doing involved: I’m just the choosen one for this, aargh. But anyway, I had the intention to stay a bit invisible. And compared with the past, you know I did quite a good job. And the amazing thing is that, the effect is that I started seeing (because from my perspective what I was doing was so little) that I started seeing the feedback, without asking it. And I am flabbergasted. That’s why
> Your whole …. The tone of your voice has changed. The way you …. There is so much that has happened in your nervous system. It’s beautiful, very happy to see. Happy for you my friend.
[Silence. Someone from the audience asks: can you say more?]
< As I said, I can go on for hours.
> Oh no, don’t encourage him.
< Actually there is this one example. Something I really want to check out with you. So, low profile, being quiet, sitting here. And I became aware of having a very strong, let’s say, experience of being watched at, and I have been observing this for a few days. And it is something like: here I am, with this almost 180 degrees. And it is as if from here the world originates. And from this perspective I’m just fysically bigger than all the other ‘puppets’. And I thought it was this. And I have been observing it, and I had really the feeling that even when I moved a finger, it was watched by all of you. And I know it is nonsense, but that was so strong. And then, maybe the second or the third day, at a point I just closed my eyes with the question: how real is this and where is it coming from? And then I became aware that it is in my system. And then I went to this and then I became aware that there is, somewhere in my system, let’s say, a sky, kind of the scale of the real sky, that is watching me. And anything that’s in my system comes from me. But I cann’t see it, it’s like …. Can you relate to empty modalities? It’invisible …. So I stayed with that. I can not see it and it was there: I kind o f sensed it. And then at a point it dawned on me, I just knew: Ah, this is the old …. , this is my let’s say mental construction of God, the god that was on the toilets, like in ‘god is watching you’.
> Yes.
< And now that is collapsing. And it is so amazing. And it’s all by itself. So already for days I have this question and now I am here and even the question is gone. I am right on track.
> You are right on track.
< I can so more and more relate to what is happening with Mr.T [This is an alias, not the real Mr. T]. And in the beginning I was judgemental about it. And that kind of collapsed. And yesterday or this mornig Mr. T was in the chair with you. And then he was doing this speaking, and I recognise this so terribly strong, from the need to help: with me it was almost from the obsession of helping. And at a point his finger came up and I really smiled like ‘ah, there he goes again’. And then somebody else shouted: ‘this is not a question, this is a lecture’. It’s so much my story in a way. I have been a trainer, I left it, I am a carpenter now. Because I was the one (that’s why I shouted: he is talking to me), the guy with the neon letters ‘reject me’. And this light will disappear. And I have no clue if that will take a week, or a month or a year. Or that it will stay forever. Than I am really the choosen one, in this sense. Enfin, bla bla bla bla bla. Here I am. Pffff.
> Thank you.
< Thank you. Thank you all.
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