Culture shock and sex

In the middle of my notes of the first weekend in Chennai I suddenly wrote: STOP. I forgot that we visited first J’s house and thus his wife, the wonderfully beautiful S.R. with whom he married less then half a year ago. She is the daughter of his elder sister. He told me later a completely complex story abolut it being the habit with them Brahmins to do this kind of marriages. But all parents, uncles and aunts have to unanimously agree; the party was already planned 5 years ago, when her mother changed her mind. Nothing to do but to postpone and wait. (Here is a possible explanation for him looking very worried and serious on one of his marital pictures, you never know if not again ….).
So, his wife and I were introduced and from that moment on she just served us food!! aaaargh.
He showed me the photo album and the wedding video. Endless rituals, 200 people attending and asn enormous amount of clothing, jewels, necklaces, flowers, garlands, foods, puja, painted hands, rings and what not,  came along.
Later, over a dinner, I asked more about his relationship. Quite a story. At first he did not want to get married, cause that would only be a disturbance of the meditation. Yet, sexual longing stayed, so  marrying seemed the better option. How was that for her, I asked.
He doesn’t know, cause you can’t talk about this before marriage.       When we took leave in his house, I have asked him to translate for her (she only speaks Tamil) that In the mind only, in order not to upset him, I was making a full namaskara for her. Later I explained this to him as her being his guruji en strongly suggested him to respect his wife and to make the investigation of his cultural habits part of his spiritual practice.
He asks if I am beyond sexual desire. I say no and tell him my story about the family secrets and my fight to get rid of that and the spontanious breaking up of strong habits around sex after that and that in fact it will be this week a full year that I’m without orgasm.
I also tell him that one of the blessings in my sex life has been having made love with some Osho sannyasins. And that Osho in a way gave his sannyasins the suggestion/the right to say stop at any moment during love making. I suggested him strongly to give his woman the right to say stop. Ah, to do tantric sex you mean?
Yes, Sir!!

hans

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One Response to Culture shock and sex

  1. barbara joseph says:

    good morning
    and
    the “stop!” you passed over to this couple
    may create a blessing to their world to come..
    and a happy new year..

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