Aargh, heart power

From this meeting the text is available:

Holland, Amsterdam, Mai 30, 2003.
  > Any words?

I’m looking for someone. Where is your guy? Ah. There. Wait and see

.Not as a story, but I want to share what happened with me. When he was sitting here I was noticing that his mindpower, his spiritual knowledge, took me out of my body. And since that moment, let’s say, the heart is beating in my belly and when I sat here it went up. And after a while I realised that where I was sitting in and still sitting in is the fear of this spiritual argument, that I have always tried to fight with my mind. And that felt so helpless. And for the first time in satsang I feel -ah, only the word- heart power.

(Ugh, all this sannyassins that told me: ah it’s the way of the heart and you have to cut of your head and, aargh, have I felt ugly. And slowly slowly slowly I found out that it was mind approaching me).

And what came up there when I just stayed centered (I suppressed the tendency to ask you if I could speak to him, cause I had to sit in this and it is still going on). But what came up, and you can listen to it or not, but I tell it to Isaac, that’s safer: In buddhism there is this one longing that’s kind of justified. The longing for enlightenment. And what came up in me is that in him this longing is so strong and justified that he cannot see it as a wanting. And I know what I am talking about. But only there it dawned on me. So at least I was speaking to myself. Thank you.

  > Thanks.
  < In a way I am exhausted and it feels so great. This morning when I woke up, after ten minutes I realised that I had a dream last night and dreaming is kind of gone for years, I don’t dream any more that I remember and this morning I remembered a dream. I was in a situation that I, time after time, had to avoid or push away guards, body guards, my size and bigger. And that happened for a few times and at the end, in the dream, I was so surprised how easy it was. So, they are not good for their job anymore. That is just what is happening: all this bunkers opening up. So from now on people are invited to pie in my bunkers, to use your metaphor. Thank you.
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